hot cocoa explosions and cheese hamburgers

Yesterday, I was making some hot cocoa for Maata (the almost-three-year old I babysit on Thursdays). The process was going fine until I decided to pour it into his cup. His cup was three-fourths of the way full before I realized that I had poured half the pot on the kitchen counter in the process! Go me.

So I wipe it up, pour what's left into my mug, and bring them both to the table.
I tell Maata that the cocoa is hot - that he should blow on it first and THEN take a very SMALL sip, just in case it is still too hot. So Maata, smart as he is (no offense, but the kid does whatever the heck he wants to, regardless of what I say) brings the cup to his lips and takes a big GULP.

The cup goes flying.
Maata is cocoa covered and screaming.
Hot cocoa is EVERYWHERE.

Confession: And then I swore, kind of, in front of him.

I know he is not burned, I had already tested the cocoa, and it was pretty warm, but definitely not scalding or hot enough to burn at all. But Maata is a drama king. If he decides he is upset, he opens his mouth as big as it gets (and this kid has a BIG mouth! Seriously, a softball could fit easily in there...with room to spare probably) and then screams and howls like an animal as loud as he can. It's not even crying really. It's more like projecting his voice as loud as he can in a big long blast. Super annoying, actually. Definitely not cute when he does that.

Anyway, while he is blowing out my eardrums, I lift him down from his highchair (no easy feat considering he is over 30 pounds and I am 6.5 months prego), narrowly avoid having him whipe his chocolate covered face all over my beautiful spring scarf, drag him into the bathroom, and put his sticky wet hands under the faucet. I turned on the cold water and then got him an icecube to suck on to console his wounded tongue (if it was indeed wounded, which I kind of doubt).

While he is intertaining himself in the bathroom (at this point the animal howling is over and he is playing in the water singing to himself), I attempt to clean up the cocoa explosion. It was everywhere. On the floor, table, table legs, all over his highchair, his clothes (which he refused to change out of...I'm sure his mom thinks very highly of me after seeing what a mess he was when she got home), etc.

Alright, so I clean it up, get Maata back into his chair, put some more cocoa into his mug and this time add an icecube and cold milk to it. I even tasted it to be sure...lukewarm at most. So He begins to drink the cocoa. And it goes everywhere. I don't even know how he did it, but the kid managed to spill, slosh, and jostle that mug at least 5 times before it was even halfway gone... As if the placemats and the cloth napkins hadn't drunk enough, now they were filled with enough cocoa to last them clear through next winter!

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of liquid chocolate fountains exploding randomly where you least expect it, he finished it! Very cheerfully, I gathered the mugs and brought them into the kitchen and started rinsing them in the sink. I return to the dining room only to find Maata using the chocolate sopping cloth napkins to wrap up his toys on the floor. Seriously?! He screams when I take them away, but I don't care. I put the napkins in the laundry bin, wipe off his toys, and then tried my hardest to engage him in a different game. Which worked, actually. We played on the floor with his toys until his mom came to pick us up and give me a ride home.

As soon as we got into the car, Maata began arguing with his mom and throwing a loud an obnoxious tantrum. Why? Because he was insisting that the drive to Dominicks and drink hot cocoa at the Starbucks there. O my gosh. As if the kid didn't get enough of the cocoa thing this afternoon! This kid is not even 3 yet and he is already setting his parents' agenda! Well, his mom (who is 7.5 months prego and looks like she has 3 babies in there instead of one) obviously says No, because she already did the grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc.... To which he replies with screaming and yelling and demanding that they go to Dominicks.

And then, the most aweful thing happens. In the midst of this tantrum, Maata starts saying out of the blue that he wants a cheese hamburger. And she says yes. And then he tells her exactly WHICH McDonalds to go to. I'm not even kidding. So now all is quiet. Maata is happy and begins singing to himself cheerfully. After all, he is getting a cheese hamburger after all that work he put in to demand something.

Honestly, I don't even know if he cared whether he had more hot cocoa and went to Dominick's. I think he just wanted his mom to do something according to HIS plans, giving him the power to decide and execute his every whim and fancy. Hence why he was happy after she agreed to get him a cheese hamburger.

Before any of this happened, while Maata was taking his nap, I was purusing the living room bookshelf and came across the family's child training book....if you can call it that, anyway. After skimming through half of it, definitely HIGHLY amused at what I was reading, I decided to look up the chapter on Tantrums and find out exactly what the logic is of how his parents deal with his constant power battles. And believe it or not, this book says that while it may be embarassing (especially if you are in public), don't feel like you are a bad parent! Simply LET THE CHILD HAVE THE TANTRUM! Why? Because the child has strong emotions that need to be expressed, and after the tantrum, he will feel relieved and much better, creating a calmer, less angry child. And then find ways next time to avoid the tantrum. Compromise, decide to change your mind after saying "no" if there wasn't a strong reason for it in the first place, and do what the child wants to do if it is not impossible or illogical.

Bingo.

I wonder how long this philosophy will hold with a newborn in the house next month to disrupt Maata's little self-centered, sin-nature kingdom he's built in that little apartment of theirs... I told Eric this when I got home last night and he just laughed, unbelieving. It just seems absurd that this little three foot twerp who has been alive for three years is ruling over his parents who are in their late 30's!!!

So, I know that every family is different. And I don't expect everyone to raise their kids the same way. And I do realize that with Eric and my kids, we will deal with behaviour issues. I know that we will have little miniature sin-natures to deal with - I am in no way naiive to that (I did grow up with some rock-headed siblings...heh heh). However, I am a little more confident that my kids will NOT get away with walking all over me! And NO! They will NOT be rewarded with a cheese hamburger after a screaming tantrum! They only reward they will receive is a visit from the "Uncle Rod."

That's my story. Oh, and I actually took Maata to Dominick's last week and we did have hot cocoa at Starbucks with our upstairs friends Kristy and her 1.5 year old son Caleb (the other little boy I babysit). And it was a complete and utter disaster. Along with the food being torn off the shelves in every aisle, cocoa all over the floor, and animal howling, there were mulitple tantrums as well. Yeah. That's never happening again. I took him to the park yesterday only after all of the other kids had left.

Just know that while I adore Kelly as an artist and friend, I am more than happy to come home and be with Eric and my kitties every Thursday evening...and of course, catch up on The Office with the guys upstairs! (Pam and Jim had their baby!!!)

And this is my life.