Friday, August 26, 2011

Oh, the irony

A few short hours following my doom and gloom post a couple of days ago, I came down with the stomach flu and was confined to my bed and the bathroom (we split the time 50/50) for the following two and a half days. I discovered some interesting things while I was sickly in my bed. I have never seen the floor rock so crazily before! Every time I tried to walk around it was like the wood floors had turned into ocean waves. I also discovered that when I tried to read, the words all jumbled up and then made me even more sick. I watched an entire season of JERICHO, which is about 24 episodes long...about 45 minutes each...you get the picture. I kissed Lexi good morning, sneaked a peak at her on my way to the bathroom, and then kissed her good night...for two days straight...and missed her terribly in-between.

I also found out that the lovely people that I took so much time to complain about a couple of days before, spent those entire two days taking care of me and watching my daughter full time so that I could be sick and then recover properly. Eric had to be out on photo shoots for most of those two days and I have NO IDEA what I would have done if our friends didn't already live here. Ironic, isn't it?

Although it's never fun to be sick (especially with the flu...I could seriously do without that, thank you) it is interesting that when you are at your most vulnerable, and somebody that has been getting on your nerves lately unconditionally cares for you and your family, the perspective of the entire situation suddenly shifts. So thank you, Nick and Abby and Eric, for having servant hearts, and despite my whining, love me regardless. You have been invaluable to me this week.

It's also pretty amazing how my perspective on life in general has changed now that I am feeling better and can actually keep down my dinner (small as it may be still). Note to my future self: never blog when you are coming down with a virus. The irony of the situation will only increase in retrospect. Guaranteed.

Here's to a happy tomorrow.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Thoughts

I haven't really felt inspired to write anything. Hence the silence. I have lots of pictures, but they are still on my camera, waiting to be downloaded to the computer, processed, and then exported. Hence the lack of pictures.
I don't really have any stories to tell, because life has felt hard lately. Living with another family has not been easy for me. It has never been easy for me, but lately it seems to have become even more difficult.

I am committed to a year. A good year. But I can't see beyond that right now. And I think that's OK. We have 10 months until our lease is up and lots can and will happen between now and then. Things can change. Things will change. And other things will stay the same. I'm OK with that. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's hard for me to put up a front and write on here like everything is fine when I don't actually feel that way myself. It is hard to live with another family and share the same space all the time. I anticipated this going into it, but the reality of the difficult times are never fun. So I apologize to my family members for the lengthy delays and lack of Lexi pictures. I do plan on putting some up soon. Sometime. When life starts looking up a little bit and some joy creeps back in and I stop complaining all the time.

This summer has seemed to go by incredibly fast, yet at the same time agonizingly slow. The school across the street from us started today, reminding me that summer is really at an end. All the kids arriving in their smart navy blue pants and crisp white polo shirts, accompanied by excited younger siblings and late tired parents. The weather feels cooler lately, but I am sure there is another heat wave or two headed in our direction. I am always a little sad and a little glad when another school year starts without me. I always loved the first week of school. The new supplies, the crisp yummy smelling books and sharp pencils. The anticipation of all that we are going to learn. But glad that I have a new life now. Glad that my dream of being a mom has materialized. Glad that I can dedicate my time to my family and my community, instead of my personal academics. Excited that it's my turn to be the teacher and yet begin to learn in so many different areas of life.