Thoughts

I haven't really felt inspired to write anything. Hence the silence. I have lots of pictures, but they are still on my camera, waiting to be downloaded to the computer, processed, and then exported. Hence the lack of pictures.

I don't really have any stories to tell, because life has felt hard lately. Living with another family has not been easy for me. It has never been easy for me, but lately it seems to have become even more difficult.

I am committed to a year. A good year. But I can't see beyond that right now. And I think that's OK. We have 10 months until our lease is up and lots can and will happen between now and then. Things can change. Things will change. And other things will stay the same. I'm OK with that. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's hard for me to put up a front and write on here like everything is fine when I don't actually feel that way myself. It is hard to live with another family and share the same space all the time. I anticipated this going into it, but the reality of the difficult times are never fun. So I apologize to my family members for the lengthy delays and lack of Lexi pictures. I do plan on putting some up soon. Sometime. When life starts looking up a little bit and some joy creeps back in and I stop complaining all the time.

This summer has seemed to go by incredibly fast, yet at the same time agonizingly slow. The school across the street from us started today, reminding me that summer is really at an end. All the kids arriving in their smart navy blue pants and crisp white polo shirts, accompanied by excited younger siblings and late tired parents. The weather feels cooler lately, but I am sure there is another heat wave or two headed in our direction. I am always a little sad and a little glad when another school year starts without me. I always loved the first week of school. The new supplies, the crisp yummy smelling books and sharp pencils. The anticipation of all that we are going to learn. But glad that I have a new life now. Glad that my dream of being a mom has materialized. Glad that I can dedicate my time to my family and my community, instead of my personal academics. Excited that it's my turn to be the teacher and yet begin to learn in so many different areas of life.