I'm putting down my power tools

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. 

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. 

Psalm 127:1

I have been memorizing this verse this week as a homework assignment for the Entrusted With A Child's Heart curriculum that I am currently going through with my moms' group. I tend to have a difficult time memorizing anything (which is why a Nursing degree didn't go so well and I decided to be an art teacher instead), and have really been treating my scripture memory as merely homework. It's hard work! Finding time to memorize and study these verses to commit to memory is not easy for me. (I have discovered that much of the "not having time" tends to be a personal choice in how I choose to spend my spare moments, and it turns out I am not spending them very well.) 

I guess what I am trying to say is that I have been looking at Scripture memory as a homework assignment. And what I didn't expect, is the Lord to speak to me through the numerous repetitions of this simple verse. These words have been running through my head and changing my heart since last Monday, reminding me of who God IS even in my daily routines and activities. 

Unless the Lord builds the house... as I argue with my husband for something I was holding against him and then realize mid sentence that I am not, in that moment, allowing the Lord to build the "house" of our marriage.

Unless the Lord builds the house... as I discipline my daughter out of anger because I have been thoroughly inconvenienced by whatever she said or did. And I hear these words resonate in my heart as I have, once again, taken parenting into my own hands, in a vain attempt to be the builder.

Unless the Lord builds the house... while I try and figure out a formula or system or some crazy way to cause our Gospel Community to fall desperately in love with the Savior, when in reality, unless the Lord builds it, we truly labor in vain.

Unless the Lord builds the house... as we transition into expanding our home and family while my sister lives here, and life has altered. I learn to be flexible, and learn to be in control of my emotions. I learn to be a friend. I make the choice to let the Lord build this, because in the past, I have failed miserably.

Unless the Lord builds the house... as I struggle to babysit two extra kids and feel completely overwhelmed as a parent with four young kids in the house. And I realize once again that being a foster parent will probably be the hardest thing we have ever done. And we can't even attempt to do it alone. 

I don't want to labor in vain. I don't even want to spend my life "trying" to get it right, or parent well, or make it work. I am always trying to build everything in my life myself. My daily living, my activities, my plans for present and future. Trying to figure out what I have to do so my girls turn out well, how to be a full time mom and an artist at the same time, how to maintain good friendships, how to build and be a part of a healthy, gospel centered community. The list goes on. I want to fabricate everything in my life so that it works well for me and to make sure that I am doing nothing that is pointless or meaningless, and everything that is right and good. But God doesn't call us to that. He only calls us to HIMSELF. He calls us to love Him. To be changed by Him. And to then live out the calling we have received.

He calls us to surrender our vain attempts at construction, and let Him alone be the Master Builder.

Unless the Lord builds the house.

Tidbits, Sisters, and Cozy Blankets

Thoughts on this past week.

Lyla is a bottom feeder. As in the fish. She spends the entire day on her hands and knees scouring the floor for anything and everything to put into her mouth. I can't even begin to tell you how many giant slobbery hairballs, sticker remnants, small rocks, dried food, and other strange articles I pull out of her mouth every day. And who knows how much random crap she has actually ingested. So, she has been rightly dubbed, The Bottom Feeder. Normally this status is reserved for the family dog, but since we will likely never have one of those (if I have anything to say about it), and our cats refuse all table food except raw broccoli (yep. weird.), Lyla has no competitors. Not even the broom, apparently, since no matter how often I sweep, I still am digging the same amount of treasures out of her mouth every day.

Since we are talking about Lyla, I also find it amusing that since I didn't start her on solid foods until this month, she skipped the puree stage completely, and is perfectly happy and content feeding herself small soft foods from the high chair tray. Her favorites are always what Lexi sneaks her while my back is turned. So far, she has generously been gifted a PB and J sandwich, raisins, peanuts, almonds, an entire banana, half a sweet potato, chocolate chips,  half of a chocolate chip cookie (at least Lexi is sharing, right?), a cinnamon roll, breakfast cereal, cucumbers, and hummus, just to name a few. Naturally, most of these items were excavated from her mouth as soon as I saw what was going on (usually given away by the sound of mild baby gagging due to having a very very stuffed mouth). Older sisters are so helpful.

Really, they are. My sister is now living with us and has been nothing but helpful in the week she has been here. All the hard to get to places in my house that have been layered with filth for months are now sparking. Seriously. You should see my stove. I half expect one of those animated twinkly stars to appear every time I look at it. And my shower curtains. Spanking clean. Makes you kind of want to bust out in song as you scrub. Kids are thoroughly entertained by the energetic auntie. Lots of happy singing in the house with her and the girls and I am far from lonely with good good company.

A little history on how my sister landed in our house. She decided it was time to move out of the deep south and come back to be with family in Chi-town (hooray!). It had to be a quick move, so we offered our home to her and the next weekend Eric and my brother drove all night down South on Friday, picked her up Saturday morning, and drove all day and into the night to bring her home early early Sunday morning. That was last week. This weekend, Eric's brother and sister-in-law are here visiting and Brian is simultaneously working on turning our ancient filthy basement into a lovely studio garden apartment. Once it is finished, my sister will be able to have her own living space, while still being a part of the family as she starts a new life here in the city. We are thrilled to have her, are thoroughly enjoying the helpful hand and company, and are excited to see what life holds for her here.

But currently, as I type this, the boiler is turned off as they re-route pipes, and since our heat comes fully from our radiators, let's just say it's getting colder by the minute up here. Lyla is napping in her snowsuit and Lexi is sound asleep (despite the crazy racket of equipment - kid's sleeping abilities are unmatched) under a pile of blankets on her bed. We have to replace all the windows in the basement as well, so all the windows are pulled out (there are quite a few of them down there) which means that the basement is no warmer than the outside. And I'm pretty sure this weekend is the coldest it's been all winter. Go figure. This is why I am upstairs...

So we are thankful for warm blankets, warm mugs of hot liquid, family, and the roast cooking in the crock pot that promises a hearty dinner later on this evening. And of course, we are anticipating the sound of the boiler firing up within the hour (we hope) as the guys finish up the whole re-routing of pipes business.

Once the basement is nearing completion, I will start posting pictures of the construction process. In the meantime, let's just say that our house is every bit of 98 years old and it is starting to show (hello, old rusty pipes!). But, in spite of the age, it has good bones. And I am so thankful that God has given us this peaceful little space to welcome others into as our family and ministry grows.

Reason # 5,896,321

...why I love raising little girls.

I grew up a tom boy. I would have died a thousand deaths before ever even dreaming of putting these on my feet. And yet here they are on my daughter's feet. Beautiful and glitzy and glamorous. She calls them her "Princess shoes" and won't let them out of her sight (even though they are still a size too big). She makes me wish I could do my girlhood over again. This time with all the glitz and little girl frills. Maybe it would have helped my fashion sense, or lack thereof. 

Seriously. I am pretty sure I am doomed to plain cotton tops paired with jeans and sneakers for the remainder of my life unless someone drags me to the store (without my kids of course) and does all the right shopping for me. Actually, if I'm being honest, (and I'm always honest on here) my biggest fantasy (purely non-sexual, thanks) is for someone to arrive at my house having done all the shopping for me, and supply me with trunk loads of a new stylish wardrobe that is also boho-chic and me all at the same time. And all the clothes and shoes and everything fit perfectly without me ever having to set foot in a public dressing room or, God forbid, the Mall (which to me is on the same pain level as purgatory, which I don't know much about, but have heard it's pretty terrible).

Maybe Lexi will turn into a fashionista and buy things for me while she is out. Or not. After all, this is the same toddler that spends the majority of her daytime hours running around the house in just her underwear and shoes. She says she's wearing her "nakey nakes." If I ask her to put clothes on, she tells me she's already in her "nakes" and therefore doesn't need clothes. Can't argue with that. :)

A little chalkboard paint and some imagination

Being homeowners is a blessing and a curse. There are probably more reasons for it being a curse than a blessing (like the fact that when things fall apart, you are responsible to fix it...and pay for it...). But one of the few blessings of home ownership is that you can do whatever you want with your house and appliances. One of our long term  plans (very long term...like when we are millionaires long term) is to completely gut and redo our kitchen. Our house was built in 1914, and believe me when I say that there hasn't been a whole lot of updating in the past 98 years. It is in great shape, but it's just really dated. (If you still don't believe me, you can stick your head in our basement and see the antique stove and ancient refrigerator that was left with the house. Or you can walk in our bathroom and soak in the lovely bubble gum pink tiles and teal bathroom appliances.)

So here we are, with old ugly appliances in the kitchen, a horrid linoleum floor, cupboards that are WAY too high for me to reach, let alone put anything in them (I am slightly vertically challenged as it is), and zero counter space. Like, NONE. 

I tried really hard not to complain, but even though I tried to keep it to myself, I must have been groaning audibly (ok, I admit it. I was complaining), because for Christmas this year, my husband - my prince, told me that we were going to spend some money to fix up our kitchen for the short term!!! So, we went out and bought some cupboards and a counter top, painted two of the walls a nice bright white (as opposed to the nasty tan that has been on the walls for who knows how long) to compliment the one grey wall, and painted our dated yellow refrigerator with chalkboard paint. The kitchen as a whole is still in progress, still needs some more paint and new curtains (just got the fabric in the mail yesterday!), but here is my kitchen in the works (since I know you want to see it).

 Our chalkboard fridge! So much cheaper than buying a whole new one to match the kitchen, we painted it with a magnetic primer, and then applied two coats of chalkboard paint to the entire exterior. BEST. DECISION. EVER!!!! I spend so many hours in the kitchen with the kids and the fridge has just become the most amazing creative outlet that we can all enjoy together. Perks of owning old crappy appliances that still work, but look hideous. Give them makeovers! :)

 The chalk erases as easy as any real chalkboard surface does too. We love it. And we love the fact that everyone who comes over to our house (which is kind of a lot of people) is welcome to draw on it as well.

Here is the entryway from the hallway into the kitchen. New counter top on the right (**gasp** is that a Vitamix blender? Yes, yes it is. And we LOVE IT.) Stove and sink are hidden, but are to the left. Breakfast table is on the left in front of the window. I love this space. It is so bright and big. 

 My man is awesome. Also, if you know me, you know that I am kind of obsessed with my pot racks. Definitely my favorite part of the last three kitchens that have been a part of my married life. Can't live without them. I actually am trying an herb wall on the left there, with the hanging pots. All my herbs are currently all dead. No surprise there. Maybe I should have made a new year's goal that involved keeping at least one plant alive...

My stove and old farm sink (which is actually pretty cool). Those top cupboards will be getting a white makeover soon. Also please notice that my kitchen is not perfect, and guess what? It's messy. Real life, folks. This is what a kitchen looks like with two little kids and no dishwasher. Lots of dirty dishes all the time. At first this really bothered me, and I spent so much time getting frustrated and washing dishes just to keep up. But I am learning that life is not all about having the picture perfect house, and while I do pretty well at getting everything in its place at the end of the day, the dishes sometimes have to wait. Mostly so I can spend more time hanging out with this little cutie, who looks very much like her dad (minus the crazy ears...those are definitely mine. ;)

 And just to really prove to you how normal we are, here is what our fridge normally looks like. I like it better this way anyhow. ;)

I will have to do an update once the painting is done and the curtains are sewn. The curtain fabric is grey and white chevron. I am really excited. And I am even more excited that these crazy mint green tiles somehow look better now than they did before. I even got a compliment on them last night! (I laughed...lol)

One crazy tree, four happy people, seven attainable(?) goals

The holidays are over and everything is already packed up and put away on our storage shelves. We might have kept the decorations up longer, but our Christmas tree disintegrated. It was really epic, actually. Christmas 2012 will go down in family history as the year our real tree (that we cut down ourselves!) fell apart. I'm pretty sure I will still be cleaning up tree needles from this epic tree in 2022.

We spent the holidays at home with our closest friends, who like us, don't have family close by. It was really really fun! (despite our tree's preference to hang out in the nude on Christmas day). Seriously, though, I have NEVER seen a tree do that. EVER. Check it out. This is after Eric took the lights off.

I have never been so envious of people with artificial trees before...

The beginning of the new year is always interesting for me. After reflecting on the last year, I realized how full it was of change and tough transitions. Lots and lots of growth too. I can only imagine that this new year will be just as full of change as the last one, although hopefully not as drastic as a new baby (a biological one, that is), a new job, and a new house all in the same three months.

I am not one to publicly make resolutions, but always end up making personal ones anyway and then of course feel guilty when I break all of them two days in. So instead of making myself feel like a horrible person, I decided this morning that this year I would make goals instead. Goals are something that I can work towards gradually, and yet have a clear vision of the end result. Unlike a resolution, where I always feel like I am supposed to change who I am overnight. Yeah. Not happening.

So here are some of my personal goals for 2013. I think they are pretty attainable.

- Make space in my life as a SAHM to pursue my personal interests (drawing, painting, sewing, reading, creating)
- Illustrate two children's books (you heard that right. TWO. One is in the works, the other is in my head)
- Make my home a warm and welcoming place for everyone who enters
- Love my kids more, parent with patience and fun
- Make my husband laugh every day
- Drink more greens
- Let my hair down and do something crazy (hopefully more than once)

Hats off (or on, in our case...) to a new year! Happy 2013!!!

[maybe this will be the year we actually get a decent family photo that ALL four of us are in together?!? I can dream, right?]

We all need a good meal sometimes.

Today I pulled an entire page of my Bible out of my eight-month-old's mouth. Didn't I tell you she loves to devour the written word?

I walked into the bathroom to find the drain in our sink completely filled with little grape tomatoes. I think I pulled out NINE with the help of the handle of a skinny spoon. Good thing they were too big to get too far down into the pipe. [How on earth does she get these ideas?!]

I carried two kids up three long flights of stairs in the effort to get to a holiday show that our best friends' kids  school put on. I mean, it was pretty cute to see all those baby faces tooting on their recorders and showing off their dance moves. I kept thinking about how in a few short years it might be my kids up there wearing Christmas trees on their heads or sporting reindeer antlers while wearing ballet shoes. Classic. Can't wait. (Or can I?)

Came home to find that my husband's day did not go at all to plan and is buried (still) under a mountain of work. He has been working around the clock since Sunday and hasn't slept in days. :-(  (BOOooo to Ad agencies! They have NO holiday spirit whatsoever.)

So I decided to make something really great for dinner. Like actually cook a real meal for once.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cook, and make almost everything from scratch. But since Lyla came into the family, I have had a hard time enjoying the whole food preparation project. I figured it out tonight when I was preparing a 30 minute express meal and instead of taking the allotted 30 minutes, it took an hour and a half. I don't think Rachel Ray includes caring for two kids at the same time into those 30 minutes at all. Which makes sense. I realized that the reason I don't enjoy cooking anymore is because I am constantly interrupted. And a 30 minute meal takes 90 to prepare. Which is why we have a lot of green smoothies and eat a lot of rice and beans around here. Quick, easy, nutritious. And there are less tears and nobody is bleeding (most of the time).

But I digress.

Tonight I prepared a real meal. A follow-a-recipe-and-commit-to-it meal. And despite how long it took to finally get it all together, (keep in mind I was getting the kids ready for bed, cleaning the house, preparing a bottle, holding a tired and fussy baby, putting Lexi in time-outs and trying to cook all at the same time...why??!) it was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. So great that I have to share. Even Eric told me to make it again (that's kind of a big deal around here)! And I promise, it doesn't have to take 90 minutes. Just maybe prepare it while the kids are napping. ;) Because for the explosion of flavor and nutrition you get with this simple one dish meal, it's so worth it! And if you've never had arugula before, you are in for a treat.


I will even give you some mouth-watering, low quality phone pictures to whet your appetite! I know. I'm that awesome.

[Yes, that's a Fiesta plate. Be jealous. I love them.]

[Like my salad scoops? They are moose heads!] 

Grilled Chicken Pasta Salad
from: Rachel Ray's Express Lane Meals

4 (very large) servings - great for leftovers!

Salt
1/2 lb short-cut pasta
3 garlic cloves, chopped
2 T. grill seasonings, such as McCormicks Montreal Steak Seasoning, 2 palmfuls
2 t. hot sauce
3 T. Worcestershire sauce
5 T. red wine vinegar
1/2 cup EVOO (Extra virgen olive oil)
2 large onions, sliced 1-inch thick
6 thin-cut chicken breast cutlets
2 T. dijion mustard
Black pepper
1/4 cup grated Parmigiano-reggiano
2 bunches arugula, thoroughly washed and chopped
1 small head radicchio, cored and coarsely chopped (wasn't at my grocery store, so I did without it)
2 cups fresh basil, 20 leaves, coarsely chopped (I didn't have fresh and used dried - still good! Although if you have the option to use fresh, DO! It's delicious!)
1/4 cup fresh flat leaf parsley, a generous handful, chopped
3 celery ribs, thinly sliced (I don't like celery, so it didn't make it into mine)
1 ball fresh mozzarella cheese, cut into bite size pieces
1 pint grape tomatoes, left whole in small, cut in half if large

Heat a grill pan or outdoor grill to high heat.

Bring a large pot of water with a tight fitting lid to boil over high heat. Once the water boils, add some salt and the pasta, and cooking according to package directions until al dente.

In a small bowl, mix the garlic, grill seasoning, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and 2 T. of the vinegar. Whisk in 1/4 cup of EVOO. Divide the mixture between two shallow bowls. Add the sliced onions to one and the chicken cutlets to the other. Toss to coat both thoroughly and marinate a few minutes.

In a salad bowl, combine the mustard and the remaining 3 T. of vinegar with a little salt and pepper. In a slow steady stream, whisk in the remaining 1/4 cup of EVOO then add the grated cheese. Once the pasta is cooked, drain it thoroughly and add it to the salad bowl with the dressing; toss to coat. Since you are adding the pasta while it is still hot, the dressing will really soak into the pasta.

Grill the onion slices, cooking them on each side until well marked, about 2 to 3 minutes. Grill the chicken cutlets for 3 to 4 mins on each side. Remove the onions and the chicken from the grill to a cutting board to rest and cool for about 5 minutes. Coarsely chop the grilled onions and cut the chicken into thin strips. Add them to the dressed pasta. Add the arugula, radicchio, basil, parsley, celery, mozzarella and grape tomatoes. Season with a little salt and pepper and toss thoroughly.

Small Joys

I don't know how to appropriately transition back to normalcy after a week filled with so much sadness. Lots of death in five days. Too much and no more please. But here we are.

This weekend though, has been filled with life. And here are a few of my small joys.

- Hanging out in the kitchen together while Eric and Lexi made Christmas cookies.

- Making an impulse buy on Amazon after reading about the product on one of my favorite blogs. Seriously I got on Amazon within 30 seconds (I'm not joking) of finding out this product existed and discovering that there were only 4 left in stock, I bought one. I would tell you what it is, but then I would most likely bury my head in a hole and not come out for a few months (#iamsonotimpulsive and yes, #ijustputahashtagonmyblogcuzimcoollikethat).

- Finished an art piece that I started a few days ago. HUGE GIGANTIC victory for this Mama of two crazies and still aspiring independent artist! I am even framing it, it's that good. Boom. And not only that, but Eric has offered to move his office to the basement so that I can use the room as my studio (he must be impressed). Under the condition that I make the time to really invest in my art. Love him. Love him. Love him.

- Received an amazing phone call that gave life changing news about a dear dear friend. God is faithful and yes, He DOES answer prayers!

- Early morning breakfast with a close friend I haven't seen in a while. Renewal, forgiveness, and refreshment over coffee, juice, and a really really cream-cheesy bagel. Thankful for honesty and new beginnings.

- Piling the whole family in the car and driving all over Albany Park in the rain to visit several thrift stores (there are a LOT of them here) in search of the perfect white elephant gifts for our Christmas party this week. Our long search was hilarious, successful, and left us feeling incredibly grimy and in need of lots of hand sanitizer (as usual).  Lexi was also properly bribed into good behavior (this happens a lot when we go out - and I am not even ashamed to admit that, because it works) and came home with a pretty awesome toy xylophone on wheels that has been in use since I scrubbed it down (it was in need of some heavy duty sanitizer as well...).

- Eric brought Lexi into the kitchen with him and made homemade frozen yogurt this morning. Man of my dreams, people! We all indulged and it wasn't even eleven o'clock yet.

- Got the house picked up and in order. Big accomplishment, if you had seen the before picture (oh, yeah, I don't take incriminating pictures like that). Laundry still isn't folded, but is it ever? ha. At least it's in the basket and not all over the floor (...anymore...thanks, Lyla). That's right. I blame the baby. All the time.

- Read aloud through our new towering pile of library books to my girls once or twice and then sat in and listened to Eric read them over again. As much energy as Lexi has, she can sit for an hour or more just listening to us read to her. And I love reading, so we both win and devour words and stories together. Lyla, on the other hand, would rather devour the words literally. And does. She has an affinity for the taste of paper, what can I say.

- Going through our advent calendar each night together as a family and listening to Lexi retell the story of Jesus's birth as she memorizes the scripture. Discovering that it is never too early to start family devotions together. Thankful for a husband and father for my girls who takes his role as our spiritual leader seriously.

- Twinkling Christmas lights everywhere. Love. Love. Love. We could use some snow to complete the whole holiday ambiance, but the lights will do.

- Anticipating the culmination of Advent, and the celebration of our Lover's birth. This year the Advent season has been more meaningful to me than ever before, in light of all our recent happenings. And I am ready for some all out celebrating. For Christ has come. And this, friends, is GOOD good news.