Find Me In The River

Our adventure on the Muskegon River in Michigan can be described as just that: "an adventure." We made good memories, enriched our friendships, cared for the four teenagers we brought with us, spent all day every day in the outdoors, saw a dazzling night sky full of shooting stars, swam in the river, jumped off of dunes, chased dirt-covered babies, battled ravenous life-sucking bugs, suffered through 115 degrees F heat index in the direct sunlight, devoured an enormous ice cold watermelon, survived three crazy monsoon-like rainstorms (one that hit while we were on the water in our canoes), made it through sickness and sunburn and a tooth that abscessed and wet clothes and asphyxiation by massive quantities of bug spray (just kidding...but almost)... Lexi had a marvelous time playing in the dirt and sand and water and was never at a loss for something to do. Neither was I, since I was chasing her the entire day...given that she had a strong inclination to fall over the edge of the dune and slide all the way down the steep slope of sand into the clear river below.

Upon our return home, we unpacked as fast as we could, and then the very next day welcomed Eric's parents at our home for the following four days. The day they left to return home, Abby's parents (Abby and her husband Nick are our housemates) showed up for a visit. The day they returned home, Nick's friend Jordan showed up for the weekend.

So today Nick and Abby and Brielle are downtown with friends and Eric and I very decidedly took the day off. We still have Lexi, so it wasn't terribly relaxing, but today was one of those long, quiet days that everyone craves after an extended period of craziness. We went on a walk as a family, took naps, read books, made Lexi giggle hysterically, had dinner ready by 5, Lexi bathed and in bed by 6. Time slowed comfortably and brought with it the rest that we are so in need of.

Life has become busier since moving in with another family. There is always something going on and things that need to be done, people that need to be met with and places inhabited. Friends are always in abundance and food disappears at an alarming speed.

Slowing down has in many ways become harder to do now. It takes a deliberate effort to stop and remember to take a breath. You have to choose to make time to simply be in the Lord's presence. Since being home, I have been struggling with this and thinking a lot about what that looks like. And while the visual image is pleasant, it doesn't mean the process has been easy. I keep picturing myself standing waist deep in the Muskegon River, arms spread out, eyes closed and face turned to the sky. The current of the water pulling at me, washing over me, surrounding me with its clear, cold, abundant waters. Bringing refreshment. Quenching thirst. Giving life.

Surrendering my plans, my dreams, my hopes and letting Christ be all that is in me. Trusting implicitly, even when it means losing all the things I have been holding on so tightly to. Letting go, and allowing Christ to hold and have his way with my life. With my disappointment. With my heart. With my physical body. With the plans I have for my family. With the hopes I have for my friends. With the plans and ideas I have for myself. With the dreams I have for this house and our surrounding community.

Christ calls us to Himself.

He doesn't call us to fill ourselves with what we think is best for us. Our job, ideal living situation, family life, financial status, or even plans that are all made with the best intentions.

He simply calls us to Himself.

To be in the river. And let all that is not of God be washed out, and in its place, be filled with the very life of God. So that we can't help but love Him, and want to be chased by Him, cleansed by Him. Washed clean by this incredible God that so tenderly cares for us.

He loves us first. We are drawn into love Him. And out of that love for Him flows the desire to live in obedience to His Word, which becomes known and understood with Him, in the river. In that surrender. Submerged in the water.

The song "Find me in the River" by Delirious, has never seemed more fitting.

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if You please

We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And worn our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees
With my soul laid bare

Even though You're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if You please

We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if there are blessings in the valley
Then in the river I will wait

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees
With my soul laid bare

Even though You're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here
I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees
With my soul laid bare

Even though You're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
Find me in the river
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here for You

Waiting here for You
I'll wait here for You
I'll wait here for You